How much is too much?

Can I start by saying that I am just plain tired?

I have not one day that I can call mine. Everyday is spent doing something for someone. And everyday is a drag. Maybe, sometimes, I feel I am trying to hold the rain for too long with my hands. I need to escape. All I want is one day, one day for me to turn off my phone, disconnect my email and msn, lock my room, leave everything behind and just have one day I can do something for myself.

Who am I kidding? I rarely have time for myself. I rarely have time for something I really want to do alone. Who am I doing all this for? I want to pull the plug and let time flies without me worrying what to do, or who to meet, or where to be at. Who am I kidding?

I am just tired. Let me sleep peacefully.

Nobody is listening.

On a totally different note, I am no better than I was a year back. Believe me, I tried to change too many things about myself to fit myself into this place. There are just too many words to take back, or too many actions to reverse. I just want to be myself. I don't want to be anybody other than me. So please, I am tired of changing.

Also this is a reminder to myself. I feel uncomfortable being in love.